Joke: The Fastest Gun in the West


A cowboy sitting in a saloon one Saturday night recognized an elderly man standing at the bar—a man who once had the reputation of being the fastest gun in the West. The young cowboy went over, bought him a drink and told him the story of his great ambition—to be the greatest gunshot in the world. “Think you might give me a tip?”
The old man looked him up and down and said, “Well, for one thing you’re wearing your gun too high. Tie the holster a little lower down on your leg.” The cowboy asked, “Will that make me a better gunfighter?”

The old man said “Sure will.” So the young man did the lash-up with his holster, whipped out his 44 and shot the bow-tie off the piano player. “Hoo boy,” he said. “You got any more tips for me?”

“Yep,” said the old man. “Cut a notch out of your holster where the hammer hits it. That’ll give you a smoother draw.” The cowpoke said, “Will that make me a better gunfighter?”

“It sure will,” said the old-timer. The young man took out his knife, cut the notch, stood up, drew his gun in a blur, and then shot a cuff link off the piano player. “Wow!” exclaimed the cowboy. “I’m learning something here. You got any more tips?”

The old man pointed to a large can in a corner of the saloon. “See that axle grease over there? Coat your gun with it.” The cowboy went over and rubbed some of the grease on the barrel of his gun.

“No, no…,” said the old man. “I mean smear it all over the gun, handle and all.” The cowboy asked, “Will that make me a better gunfighter?

“No,” said the old-timer, “but when Wyatt Earp gets done playing the piano, he’s gonna shove that gun up your rear, and it won’t hurt as much.”

Source:  Old Horsetail Snake


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