Confusion in the English Language

I recently received an e-mail from a fellow blogger that confirmed my hypothesis that English is an extremely complex and confusing language.  Anybody studying the language of Shakespeare will probably agree with me.

Below is what my fellow blogger sent me which confirmed my theory about English.  Be prepared to be baffled by the content of this e-mail.  Here we go.

ENGLISH

We’ll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn’t the plural of pan be called pen?
If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn’t the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and there would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!

Let’s face it – English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
Neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren’t invented in England.

We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes,
We find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square,
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write, but fingers don’t fing,
Grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham?

Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them,
What do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English

Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

We ship by truck but send cargo by ship…
We have noses that run and feet that smell.
We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.
And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
While a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language
In which your house can burn up as it burns down,
In which you fill in a form by filling it out,
And in which an alarm goes off by going on.

And in closing……….

If Father is Pop, how come Mother’s not Mop.???

If you got this far, it means you are really a zealot of the English language and probably have a large smile on your face.  Good Day.

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Is Faggot a Decent Word or a Derogatory Expression?

The answer to this question is a “Yes” and a “No”.  How come?  Let me explain.  The reason for this ambivalent answer is a result of the constant evolution of the English language.  It is constantly changing the meaning of its words, as it were alive—live a living creature.  I’ve made this assertion before.

If you look up the word “faggot” in a dictionary worth its salt it will be defined as follows: [North America, offensive slang]  A disparaging term for a homosexual man; a gay man.  The expression is also shortened as “fag”.  But it also means a bundle of sticks and branches bound together or a package of several things tied together for carrying or storing.  The relationship between a bundle of sticks and a homosexual male is odd.  The explanation to this linguistic disparity leads us to our previous assertion that the English language is a living creature—always changing.

In the 12th and 13th century in Great Britain, the expression “faggot” meant a bundle of sticks.  Examples:  “A short distance further lay a little faggot of the same shoots bound together with a strip of bark.”—Typee by Herman Melville.  “He ordered his servants to bring in a faggot of sticks, and said to his eldest son: ‘Break it’—Fables by Aesop.  It was a burning implement used as kindle for a fire or a rustic broom for sweeping and sometimes used as whip.  The word “besom” which is an instrument for sweeping was also used, thus our modern word “broom” which we all obviously understand.

In the 15th century the meaning of the words changed slightly and was used as a pejorative expression for women.  Women were called faggots.  The view of the men of the time was that their wives were a burden, in the same way carrying a bundle of sticks can be a burden.

According to my research, in 1914 the word faggots was first used as a derogatory term for gay men; a generalized insult (fagula, fegula).   Currently the word is used as a derogatory term for gay men or as an informal way to tease somebody; so the meaning depends on the context the word is used.

This is one of many example of a language in permanent change.  The historical transformation of the word faggot is indeed admirable.  Good Day.

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English Idioms

As many of you probably know, I’m been enamored with the English language since I was six.  Never lived in an English-speaking country, so the learning process has been like a roller coaster ride, up and down, forward and backwards.  But still, the passion for the language is so strong, I keep on plowing forward.  My native tongue is Spanish.

The most difficult part of the English language has been learning the ample variety of  idioms, also known as idiomatic phrases, parlacences or phrasal idioms.  A good dictionary worth its salt will define an idiom as:  A matter of speaking that is natural to native speakers of a language or the usage or vocabulary that is characteristic of a specific group of people.  Example:  “The immigrants spoke an odd idiom of English.”  Another meaning is:  An expression whose meaning cannot be inferred from the meanings of the words that make it up.

I push myself hard to learn new English idioms by reading English books, movies, magazines and TV programs.  Sometimes I will hear the phrase, jot it down in a piece of paper, and later look it up in an online dictionary.  I’m amazed of how different the meaning of the idiom is from the real English words.  That is what makes it so difficult to grasp if you have not lived in an English-speaking country, which is my case.

Recently I stumbled in this new idiomatic expression while surfing the Web:  “Before one had nails on one’s toes.”  This is what it means:  Before one was born; long ago, in the distant past. 

This expression refers to the fact that a baby’s toenails develop prenatally. Thus an event or other matter that occurred before a person’s toenail developed occurred before he or she was born.  In its most common usage, the expression cites a younger person’s age as the basis for denigrating his status, experience, ideals, or philosophies.

“There’s Ulysses and old Nestor, whose wit and moldy ere your grandsires had nails on their toes.”—William Shakespeare.

And now you understand how difficult it has been for me to learn the language of Shakespeare.  Good Day.

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Between You and Me and the Lamppost

Everybody who has studied the English language knows that there are grammatical rules for the proper use of the pronouns “you”,  “me” and “I” depending on what you are trying to say.  And yet, there has been for some time a great controversy over the phrases, “between you and I” and “between you and me”.

First let’s take a hard look at the the basic rules of English grammar: the words you, I, and me are all pronouns. They stand in for nouns like Dick, Jane, Sally and Spot.  Pronouns can be subjects, objects, or possessive.  The subject of a sentence is the agent taking action, and the object is the thing or person being acted upon. If I say, “I love you,” I am the subject (the one doing the loving), and you are the object (the target of my love and the object of my affection).  I remember understanding this very clearly when I was in primary school.  No big deal.

If you have spoken English for a long time, you probably know that I is a subject pronoun, and me is an object pronoun.  If you are learning English, you just have to memorize it.  Things begin to get tricky when when you combine I and me with you because  you is both a subjective and an objective pronoun. It’s one of those confusing things that just isn’t fair. Whether it is in the subject or the object position, you still use the word you. You love Jane and Jane loves you. They are both correct.

That seems pretty straightforward. So now we can move on to “Between You and I” and figure out why it’s wrong.  And this is where the controversy begins, since the days of William Shakespeare to this very day.

Between is a preposition, just as on, above, over, and of, are all prepositions.  Because prepositions usually either describe a relationship, or show possession, they don’t act alone; they often answer questions like Where? and When?

So, instead of acting alone, prepositions are part of prepositional phrases. Thus, between you and me is a prepositional phrase. And it’s just a rule that pronouns following prepositions are always in the objective case.  When you’re using the objective case, the correct pronoun is me, so the correct prepositional phrase is between you and me.  That was well and good until William Shakespeare came along and started a controversy that is still going on even as we speak.

The writer whose English is so inflexibly correct that it never violates the laws is very likely a writer who will not be published until he learns when to break the laws painstakingly learned and dares to say, ”In this case, wrong is better.”  Sometimes correct English is wrong and wrong English is right.

Below is the slip of the quibble written by William Shakespeare in Act Three, Scene II of The Merchant of Venice:

“Sweet Bassanio, my ships have all miscarried, my creditors grow cruel, my estate is very low, my bond to the Jew is forfeit, and since in paying it, it is impossible I should live, all the debts are cleared between you and I, if I might but see you at my death.  Notwithstanding, use your pleasure:  if your love do not persuade you to come, let not my letter.”

Grammatically, of course, Shakespeare was wrong. He should have written ”between you and me.” The grammar rule is quite plain. ”Between” is a preposition. The object of a preposition must be in the accusative (or objective) case. The accusative form of the first-person-singular pronoun is ”me.” Therefore, the correct phrase is ”between you and me.”  It is considered standard English which follows the basic rules of grammar.

The use of the phrase “between you and I” was very frequent during the end of the 16th and 17th century, but is now considered ungrammatical.    Yet, many English-speaking people to this day, consider this phrase as a polite expression, and has been used since Middle English.  It is universally used in common spoken English.  I understand even Mark Twain used it in his writings.

I must acknowledge that, whether we like it or not, the English language is very dynamic, and will change with usage.  English is an evolving language. We all know it’s adding words furiously, not to mention idioms. A few years ago, a majority of people didn’t say “back in the day.” Now you hardly ever hear “back in the old days.” Please don’t tell anybody; this is strictly “between you and me and the lamppost”.

Oh, one more thing… Shakespeare also used the phrase “between you and me”.  Good Day.

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Quid Pro Quo

A phrase that made me pull my hair and grit my teeth was trying to understand the meaning of quid pro quo.  I thought it was not not even an  English word or proper use of formal English.

This is what I found out when I looked up the word in an Internet dictionary:  Quid pro quo is a favor or advantage granted in return for something.  For example:  “The pardon was a quid pro quo for their help in releasing hostages.”

English speakers often use the term to mean “a favor for a favor”—you scratch my back, and I’ll scratch yours.  Another similar meaning is a more or less equal exchange for substitutions of goods or services.  Give and take, tit for tat, this for that.  The phrase was borrowed from Latin which means “this for that”.

Next time you bump into this peculiar expression there’s no reason to get angry—you already know what it means.  Lingua Franca is a quid pro quo for your continued comments and support of my daily blog posts.  Thank you and Good Day.

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Confusion in the Use of Some English Words

If you are studying English as a second language, you probably agree with me that sometimes its very confusing.  Since I was six I’ve been having my ups and downs with the language, but I keep hanging in there trying to break the code.  Still have a long way to go though.

Some English words are so confusing that many experienced writers have to pause for a second and think when they are about to type certain words.   Some words are so close to others in spelling or meaning that they cause confusion, time after time. For this reason, it’s a good idea to study the most common word mix-up’s, to avoid problems that vex writers everywhere.

If you can conquer these common problems, you’ve made a giant leap forward in the language of Shakespeare.  Here are some frequent offender words provided by Grace Fleming in her article Confusing Words.  This is what she said about confusing words:

“affect/effect: To affect is to produce an effect. Still confused? Affect is usually a verb meaning “to impact or influence.” It might help to remember that “a” is for action and “e” is for result.

accept/except: Accept is a verb, meaning to take willingly. Except is a preposition, meaning “other than.” Remember the phrase “I will accept any food except spinach.” The words “accept” and “except” are in alphabetical order in that sentence. Hey, it’s silly but it might work.

conscience/conscious: Have you ever been present when somebody fainted? It’s scary, because nobody knows which word to use. It’s that bad. Seriously, many well-educated people stumble over this one! “Conscious” is an adjective, meaning “aware,” “awake,” or sometimes “on purpose.” Use this one if somebody faints. It might help to think of other “state of mind” words that have the same ending, like “serious,” or “delirious.” “Conscience” is your sense of right and wrong. It rhymes with “sense.”

fewer/less: If you can get this one right, you’ll be ahead of most of the English-speaking population. You’ll hear this mix-up all over the media! Few and fewer refer to objects that can be numbered. Less refers to a quantity of something non-specific. It might help to think of “less” as a “lump” word. Examples: I have “fewer” dimes and “less” money than you.

it’s/its: The apostrophe in “it’s” poses a real problem for some people. Many people think of possession when they see it. But it’s is a contraction, meaning “it is” or “it has.” It might be helpful to think of the possessive pronoun its in a group with “hers” or “his.” No apostrophe!

to/too: This is probably the most common problem pair, but once you get the difference, it seems so simple! To is a preposition that indicates location or direction, but it also can be used in front of a verb to make an infinitive, like “to eat” or “to swim.” That sounds more difficult than it is. Too is an adverb meaning “excessively” or “additionally.” Either way, this word indicates “an extra amount.” Just think of the extra “o” in too!

whose/who’s: Again, the apostrophe in who’s creates confusion, because it tricks people into thinking it indicates possession. It doesn’t! Who’s is the contraction for “who is” while whose is the possessive form of who. Examples: Whose turn is it to feed the dog? Who’s going to do it?”

Do you feel better now, after getting the grasp of some confusing English words?  I’ll bet you do.  Don’t let the language intimidate you.  Good Day.

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Digging Deeper Into the English Language

During the last three years I’ve fallen deeply in love with the Enlisc language, also known as English.  I used to struggle with it for a long time, trying to understand the confusion underlying its words, grammar and pronunciation.  Now I’m finding the beauty of the language assisted by my blogger friends Richard and Linda.  Both of them are writers and masters in weaving words, if you know what I mean.

English is a Western Germanic language spoken originally in England, and is now the most widely used language in the world.  It is spoken as a first language by a majority of the inhabitants of several nations, including the United Kingdom, the United States, Canada, Australia, Ireland, New Zealand, and a number of Caribbean nations. It is the third most common native language in the world, after Mandarin Chinese and Spanish.  It is widely learned as a second language and is an official language of the European Union, many Commonwealth countries and the United Nations, as well as in many world organizations.

During the last month, I’m removing the layers of the language in an effort to understand how it started and how it expanded to rule most of the world, together with Mandarin and Spanish.  Richard suggested a book to help me in my linguistic quest.  The name of the book is dubbed, The Adventure of English by Melvyn Bragg.  It’s one of those books you don’t want to keep your eyes off the printed text or let it down for a while to take a pause.  You want to read it from beginning to end in one day.

Below is an excerpt from the aforementioned book.  Here we go.

“The American influence on English has been and continues to be crucially important and one of the lucky turns in the adventure is that it was English and not, as it just might have been, French or Spanish or German which adopted or was adopted by that new-found land—that engine of the new and modern world.  America has brought much treasure to the word-hoard but also, like the British Empire it succeeded, its English has caused casualties, and in both empires they are part of this story.

There had been luck but also cunning and the beginning of what was to become English’s most subtle and ruthless characteristic of all:  its capacity to absorb others.  Two brief examples of the linguistic osmosis are:

• Frisian:  Laam (lamb), goes (goose), bûter (butter), brea (bread), see (sea), stoarm (storm), boat (boat), rein (rain), and snie (snow).  Indoors, there’s miel (meal) and sliepe (sleep).
• Latin:  Planta (plant), win (wine), catte (cat), candel (candle), ancor (anchor), cest (chest), forca (fork), weall (wall), straet (street), mortere (mortar), spitula (letter), and rosa (rose).

The way in which a few tribal and local Germanic dialects spoken by a hundred and fifty thousand people grew into the English language spoken and understood by about one and a half billion people has all the characteristics of a tremendous adventure.

English like a living organism was seeded in England a little over fifteen hundred years ago.  England became its first home.  From the beginning it was exposed to rivalries, angers and threats:  there was an escape from extinction, the survival of an attempt at suffocation; and there are casualties.  It has often been a fierce war over words—whose language rules?—but also there were and are treasures:  literatures, unified governance, and today the possibility of a world conversation, in English

Only writing preserves a language.  Writing gives posterity the keys it needs.  It can cross al boundaries.  A written language brings precision, forces ideas into steady shapes, secures against loss.  Once the words are on the page they are to be challenged and embellished by those who come across them later.  Writing begins as the secondary arm but soon, for many, becomes the primary source, the guardian, the authority, the soul of language.

But who found the first words?  Who finds new words today?  We know that Shakespeare put into print at least two thousand new words, but the majority of words come out of the crowd.  An American frontiers-man like Davy Crockett can be as good a word spinner as a master of Trinity College, Cambridge.  Early words came from those who worked the land, those whose centuries of nose to the earth made them acquainted with the minutiae of nature and most likely it was they who, often out of necessity, had to name what they saw:  basic things, and creatures which might endanger or nourish them.  The giving of names could be called the most democratic communal effort in our history.  Language is the finest achievement of culture—and in my view, the English language is the most remarkable of the many contributions these islands have made to the world.”

If English is your second language, I encourage you to keep hanging in there making new discoveries and soon you will unwrap the beauty of the language.  I can’t emphasize enough how much I enjoy reading and learning abut this Lingua Franca of our times.  Good Day.

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Inside the English Maze

Credit: James Foley

Since it’s origin, the English language has had the following main characteristic:  the capacity to absorb other tongues.  Like a living organism it is growing gobbling up foreign words making it the third largest language in the world after Chinese Mandarin and Spanish.

English has placed its claws in Latin, Greek, Hebrew and Sanskrit; on its journey it takes from French, Italian, Arabic, Chinese and scores of other languages.  English still uses the basic vocabulary from the first invaders, but has added tower after tower of new words and new ideas.  It has released feelings and thoughts all over the planet.  It continues to reinvent English words wherever it goes and shows no sign of slowing down.

As far as England is concerned, the language that became English, arrived in the fifth century with Germanic warrior tribes from across the channel; (e.g., Saxons, Angles and Jutes).  They were first invited over as mercenaries to shore up the ruins of the crumbled Roman Empire, stayed to share the spoils, and then dug in.

The Roman occupation brought in the Latin language, and English is full of Latin words and expressions.  Today I will write about two of them which are often confused—i.e. and e.g.

The Latin abbreviation i.e. stands for illud est, meaning “that is to say” or “in other words”.  i.e. should be used after a statement to explain it another way, typically only one other way but possibly two (more would likely be confusing). It could also be used to define a single word.  Examples:

1. Most crayon users prefer to scribble (i.e. draw erratically).
2. The most common crayon mishap involves a trip to the otorhinolaryngologist (i.e. the crayon has been inserted into the ear or nose.

In the first example above, a single word was defined; in the second example, the word was implicitly defined, but the context of the phrase was clarified.  Use it when you want to give a more precise description of the thing mentioned.

The Latin abbreviation e.g. stands for exempli gratia  meaning  “for the sake of example.”  e.g. should be used after defining a class, to give an example of a specific instance (or more than one; you can offer a list).  Example:

• The simplest crayon sets feature the primary and secondary colors (e.g., red and green).

In the above example, the general class is the noun phrase “the primary and secondary colors“, which if you remember your first art class is the set {red,blue,yellow,purple,green,orange}. “e.g.” here has provided examples from that set.  Do not end a list that starts with e.g. with etc.  This in incorrect English grammar.

 Many English teachers say that it’s more common for people to misuse “i.e.” when they mean “e.g.”, as opposed to the other way around.  Two periods punctuate e.g. and i.e. in U.S. English, where they may be unpunctuated in British English. Surround these abbreviations with commas.

Do not confuse these two abbreviations, which mean different things and have different origins.  I hope I have clarified the confusion as we walked leisurely inside the English maze.  Good Day.

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Riddle From the Library of the Exeter Cathedral

“What is this?

I live alone, wounded by iron,
Struck by a sword, tired of battle work,
Weary of blades, Often I see war,
Fight a fearsome foe, I crave no comfort,
That safety might come to me out of the war-strife
Before I among men perish completely,
But the forged brands strike me,
Hard-edged and fiercely sharp, the handwork of smiths,
They bite me in the stronghold, I must wait for
A more murderous meeting, Never a physician
In the battlefield could I find
One of those who with herbs healed wounds,
But my sword slashes grow greater
Through death blows day and night.”

Answer:  The Shield

Source:  The Adventure of English by Melvyn Bragg.

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The Collective Names of Animals

I don’t recall that our English teachers emphasized the different names of groups of animals during their classes.  Either I dozed during those tedious lessons, or they were never given to us.  I just can’t recall.  As I read books, magazines, newspapers and watched movies and videos, I picked some of them.  However, there are some groups of animals, I didn’t have the faintest clue existed.

Some of the most common ones I had no problems with are:

1. A school of fish.
2. A herd of cattle.
3. A flock of birds.
4. A swarm of bees.
5. A litter of cats

However, I had no idea the following terms existed in the English language.  But that’s nothing new, English as you all know, has been a tough cookie for me since I was six.

Are you familiar with the names of the following groups of animals?

1. A shrewdness of apes.
2. A sloth or sleuth of bears.
3. A tower of giraffes.
4. A band of gorillas.
5. A bloat of hippopotamuses.
6. A wake of buzzards.
7. A gulp of cormorants.
8. A sedge of cranes.
9. A bask of crocodiles.
10. A shoal of bass.

And the list goes on and on for mammals, birds, fish, reptiles, amphibians and invertebrates.  A dear friend recently sent me a link which includes a lengthy list of these unusual terms which I thought you could use as a reference website.  If you like to write in English, sooner or later, this site could be your deus-ex-machina.

And now you know the rest of the story of my experiences with the English language.  Good Day.

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